January 2012
156 posts
WHAT IF...
heyfunniest:
noose:
ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh
ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh
ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh
ugh ugh ugh ugh ...
Playing With Telemarketers
I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.
ME: Is this AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?
ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: The phone company.
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?
ME: Yeah.
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This A T &T?
SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to
get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family"
thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: click........
Grades don't define intelligence and age doesn't...
Me: I think I'm gonna go to sleep now.
TV: lol but good shows are on.
iPod: sleep? Is that a new app?
Sleeping position: lol I'm not gonna be comfortable.
Mind: what's the meaning of life though?
Temperature: lol it's too hot and too cold.
Noises: oh, you said be louder? Okay.
Body: Lol time for itches.
The most attractive thing about a guy is
erickax:
The way he makes me laugh. Humor is a number 1 thing to win my heart. If I’m not laughing I’m not in a good mood. When a guy can make fun of himself and go out of his way to make me laugh. That’s the best.
johnyr:
Stick With You | Pussy Cat Dolls
sincerely-ysabelle:
Holy shit I love this.
Who...
Things I love about the weekend:
shawnasaurus:
No school.
Sleeping in.
No school.
No school.
No school.
No waking up early.
Waking up whenevers.
No school.
No school.
Mistakes are meant for learning, not repeating.
Me in prison: Hey why are you here?
Guy: I tried to kill some kids. And you?
Me: I tried to download a few songs
ryangarcia:
Everyday - High School Musical 2
...
SCHOOL:
In class: 1+1=2
Exercises: 1+2+1=4
Test: John buy 4 oranges. He eats one and gives another to Ted. Calculate the sun's mass.
Yesterday I set my wifi's name to "Hack this if...
When I checked it today, it was called “Challenge accepted”
Me: Omg, you're such a good cuddler.
Pillow:
Pillow:
Pillow:
Pillow:
Me: Shhh. Don't speak.
